And so I had this crazy dream which involved being at some fair, riding in a craft-like thing, which looked like a car, but it actually floated, we were on a tall building, must be, cos I could see airplanes (SIA, to be specific) flying past SILENTLY. and they looked huge. So i guess it was pretty up-close. And ayah kept circling round and round the stupid fair, and he was practically zooming, i kept thinking we were gonna crash.

And then, suddenly I was walking and ibu told me that I was it was actually my cousin's wedding (the fair, i'm assuming) and that in 4 weeks time it'll be my wedding and I was so shocked, I didn't expect it. I was like WTF. a billion things went through my mind.

I thought about how embarassing (and awkward) to be propped on the pelamin and have everyone stare and scrutinize me and Fattah, and how in just four weeks we'd be living under the same roof, together, 24/7 and how the changes will take into place. How cool it'd be to be able to go anywhere and everywhere I wanted with him without my mother nagging at me or without makciks and pakciks geleng kepala disapprovingly (as if they haven't held hands with the opposite sex during their adolescent years! puh lease!) And how awfully weird it'd be to get pregnant, and tell my mum and actually have her feeling happy for me and not be killed/outcasted/murdered brutally/ostracized (sp?) (i've no idea what it means actually, but it sounds like it falls along the same meaning) by her. (yes, my thoughts went that far in the dream alone, i kid you not)

And then of course I was rudely awakened by Matin's annoying wailings or whines and it snapped me back to reality, being 19 and eons away from a marriage.

For a split second I guess I had a glimpse of how I'd feel if I were to get married. Marriage seems like such a HUGE step. It's such a risky decision but it's full of possibilities. It's scary yet exciting. Haha.

And I'm thinking of just sitting on the regular tables and chairs with everyone if I were to get married. it's highly embarassing to be on that pelamin/dais shit, seriously. With 9inch thick makeup and a rigid, plastic smile. God.

and yes, grimace all you want, but once in a while, we do get cheesy and envision spending our lifetimes together. (:
(and he says he'll dump me if I can't cook sambal goreng pengantin. like WTF? some random lauk man.)

and Well, it beats the dream where I dreamt ibu already matchmade me and was actually shoving me towards the pelamin, in me wearing nothing but tshirt and shorts, and the groom must've been some kedi monster cos HE, was all dressed in the baju pengantin and hiding behind the KIPAS, which the mak andam always use to hide the bride when the groom came.
I never got to see who the groom was, though. Blessing in disguise I suppose.

Labels: da malas ah ni